Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
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