My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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