Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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