So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
