New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
