This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
