Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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