He is such a slut. More and more my type.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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