heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
