And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
