I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
