I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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