Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
