ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
