i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
