porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
