Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Even my vagina gasped.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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