How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do herpes really smell.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
