Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
