he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
