Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I made him laugh his dick is mine
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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