hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
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