I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
YAS. BRING CRAB.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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