He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
