Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
