So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
