As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
