Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
