I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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