I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
a search helicopter?!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
