2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
