I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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