I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize