Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
