I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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