Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
