She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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