I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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