They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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