I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My life is pants optional.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
