Too much gin, very little bucket
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
