I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
When are your genitals available?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
