I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
