So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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