I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
