There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
