We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
