please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
