From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
