are you still at the devil's house?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You are the jesus of drinking
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
